I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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