He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
