I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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