hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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