my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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