My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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