your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
