I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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