You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
