and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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