I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
