My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
