Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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