I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Come on in and take your pants off
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