wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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