Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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