3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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