THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
