you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
