Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
