Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The air was thick with penises
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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