Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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