What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
