ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
