barbara walters just said penis...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
pray to the hookup gods
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
