How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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