To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
