I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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