in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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