You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
