Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
