How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She even gives head with a lisp.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
