just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
