You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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