just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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