He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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