She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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