So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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