we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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