Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
