JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
