I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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