I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
