They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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