No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
