I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
