You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
