i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My dick has a subreddit
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
