We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
