Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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