When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
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Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
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Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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