I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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