That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
