Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
handjob tips. give me some.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
