I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
