Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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