She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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