Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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