Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
