I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
