tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
