I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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