Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
