He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
