I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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